Boundary Plaice, 147 Harrowden Road, Bedford
It’s lunchtime and after my potato cake breakfast I’m in
something of a potato mood. A hankering would probably be the best way to
describe my potato fondness this cold, drizzly afternoon. Where should I go? I
could go to somewhere familiar but then what would I have to write about? It
might be crap and then you’ve wasted your belly space on a bad lunch. It might
be great in which case ”hooray” all round and a big pat on the back for a
decision well made. It all comes down to you dear chums, I bit the bullet for
you and chose somewhere new… for you (and don’t you ever forget it).
Today was about sauntering (and potato’s) and so I did, I
sauntered in to the chip shop with determination in my heart (might have been
heartburn) and a steely will to match (all of this is entirely irrelevant). I
would like some chips please, large chips (as in portion size, I don’t want a 6ft
x 4ft chip)… and a large sausage in batter (my weapon of choice. Ok, not so
much a weapon but most definitely a choice).
I was served quickly, very quickly. In fact I don’t think I’ve
ever been served so quickly in all my life. It was literally walk in to chippy,
order, get handed food, pay, leave. I would say I was in there no more than 90
seconds. Please do not get your hopes up at a speedy service when you visit as
there was only one other person in the chip shop and she was waiting for her
order (not so swift there methinks). I don’t want any of you to be disappointed
because you expect to strut in there and get your order in seconds especially
when you see dozens of bodies lining up outside the door. I think on that kind
of occasion you should be prepared to wait and then wait a bit more and then
most likely decide that you don’t actually want chips after all so swiftly
shuffle off in to the night, or to the park whichever takes your fancy really. You
might even decide to start an impromptu barbershop quartet right there and
then. If you do, more power to ya!
Portion: Not bad for a large bag of chips. I’m quite stocky
fellow and although I did polish off everything I didn’t feel overly full. You
know that kind of fullness where there is initial satisfaction but then it
drops in to this kind of heavy feeling, a sweeping food depression if you will?
Well that didn’t happen.
Chips: Good chips, this could just have been a lucky batch
as I did frequent this Plaice (see, puns!) a few years ago but didn’t think
much of it. I found the chips tasted like proper home cooked chips that your
mum used to make (this goes for 70’s 7 80’s kids only, I cannot comment on 90’s
kids tastes as I was too busy being drunk). A nice rich golden brown colour,
crisp edges while not being stiff and brittle. Good fluff on the inside and a
proper chip smell to them (I was going to clarify this comment but I thought I
would leave it open to ones own particular memory of chip smell).
Sausage in Batter: 50/50. A nice even coating of a
especially tasty batter, not to heavy either. Rich colour and great crunch to
it. Not too much fat soaked in either. The sausage on the other hand was not
great. While not being luminous pink there was a pinky tinge too it as if it
was under cooked (it wasn’t but the colour would betray it) and it was a little
bit slimey, not oozing with slime but there was smooth slipperiness to it.
There was a certain phalicness to it once the batter was peeled back and I wouldn’t
be surprised if there is a tribe of unic donkey’s or cattle somewhere out there
in the wilderness.
All in all it wasn’t that bad, a 75/100 scoring
establishment. A nice little chippy let down the todger like sausages.
Obviously there are other things to try if you don’t want to feel like you’re the
star of some batter based gay porn movie and I think it’s worth another visit
(the chippy not the porn movie… not that I’m saying that I’ve starred in gay
porn, I could star in gay porn I guess. I don’t think the wife would be too
pleased).
I’m not sure how to wrap this up. Erm… Give it a go, it’s
clean, it’s friendly, they have chips. What more could you ask for?
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