Sleeping With The Fishes

The Codfather, 14 Bunyan Road, Kempstons, Beds, MK42 8HP

 

I’m not quite sure what is it about chip shops and puns. Why chip shops? Why do they require a joke name? I know “the Fish and Chip Shop” is pretty boring but why not “Brain’s Fish & Chips”?

Does the name really matter that much?

I would wager that more chippy’s are named using puns than any other fast food sector.

The Cod Father, The Chip Inn, The Frying Squad, Rock N’ Sole

What's next?

Cod This Be Magic? Skid Roe? A Salt & Battery? A Fish Full Of Dollars? Oh Cod Call The Police?

When have you ever seen an Italian place with a pun name?

Pizza Piss, Its Cannelloni in Here, Pasta Its Sell by Date

Or a Chinese?

Wok on Tommy, Phat Fuk, Wong Order

Or a Kebab house?

Heart Donner, Donner Eat that, Sheesh I’m Hungry, AbraKebabra*

*Actually that last one is a real place I saw in Ireland once

Or an Indian?

Curry Up, Tikka Tape Parade, Bhaji Your Way In, Phall-Lick

It’s few and far between that’s for sure.

Name aside it was lunch time and while driving through the fresh, colour filled streets of Kempston I thought “yum, I have soup in the cupboard” followed by the though “Soup? Are you a big knob? Why the hell are you going to eat liquid veg? Look, look over there, that’s a chip shop… go there. Look, it’s called the Codfather so it must be good especially with such a witty bloody name like that… go eat the chips you lardy bugger you know you want to”.

While I mulled over the wise words of by subconscious I found by body had already pulled in to a parking space and had dragged me across the rain soaked road toward the chippy, “Oh, it’s decided then” I thought, and as I pondered as to why the bloke in front of me had a leopard skin tattoo covering his bald head instead of hair I heard my own voice involuntarily speaking the mystical words “battered sausage and chips wrapped please”.

I drove back to the workshop and plated up, slapped a bit more salt and vinegar on and tucked in.

Talking of salt & vinegar. What is it about some chip shop staff and their reluctance to actually put any on your chips. They ask you if you want it, you reply positively and then they hold up the bottle over the chips tip it and then quick as a flash whip it back upright allowing about 2 drops to fall on to the chips.

Then there are those that comply willingly but seem to be fighting against some sort of Harry Potter type magic barrier surrounding your food “Expelviniamas”, they could pour the entire bottle over it and it would simply bounce off and dissipate in the bag.

What can I say about the chips? They look good enough but there was an odd taste about them, it was almost as if I was eating a raw potato. Not that the texture wasn’t fine it was just this lingering flavour. Perhaps it was the fat they were using but I’ve never had anything like it before. I don’t think this is the norm for The Codfather since I’ve eaten from here in the past and never noticed this before, it might be that they have changed supplier of something and this is the result. Either way I wasn’t keen.

The sausage in batter could quite frankly have done with a bit more batter, it was pretty thinly spread. The sausage itself looked appealing, it wasn’t some toxic pink that I’ve seen at other chippy’s and was more of a dark brown, thick mince. The problem was that it just didn’t taste good. It didn’t taste off or anything like that but it was just “meh”. This was my first experience of a battered sausage here, in the past I’d normally had Cod which was the main reason Mrs Belly and myself stopped coming here on a regular basis. The Cod always seemed too wet, covered in soggy batter that would limply cling on to the fish.

My other issue here was the portion size. Normally regular chips pile up on a small tray but here the tray was barely full at all. I’m not expecting mountains of chips but a regular portion anywhere else would be double the size. In reality though it was a blessing in disguise since I didn’t enjoy them anyway.

I think the meal cost me £2.50 or it would have been £2.60 with a drink included which isn’t too bad for a lunch time but still too much for a small portion of bad food in my opinion.

There are other options at The Codfather, fried chicken, kebabs, burgers etc. I’ve not tried these so they may fair better but I have no real inclination to return and test the waters again.

Fingers crossed I won’t find a horse’s head in my bed tomorrow morning.