Less Haste More Speed

Asia Lounge, 66 High St Bedford, MK40 1NT 01234 365366
 

 

Saturday, the day of champions. I think that’s what they call it, there were lots of cheers from the pub we were in so I’m guessing England must have won the Rugby (that’s what was on the big TV, I’m not a fan but I do notice stuff from time to time).

We were out tonight to celebrate the birthday of a good friend, the plan was to sink a few pints at the Kings Arms and then head over to the Asia Lounge for a slap up Indian. The table was booked well in advance for all 17 of us to everything was going to be all right. Or so we all thought.

You can’t fault the Asia Lounge for its décor, it’s very nicely done out and moodily lit which makes for a very relaxing atmosphere. We were all seated and our drinks order was taken, drinks arrived pretty quickly and the merriment began.

We were given plenty of time to peruse the menu and then the waiter came over and took our starters order, sadly this is where things started to go a little downhill. The order for the starters was taken and then another drinks order, again the drinks came pretty quickly. About 20minutes later the waiter returned and took our main course order (surely all ordering should have been done in one hit).

Then… the long, LONG wait. I should have checked the time but it must have been over 30 minutes before the starters even hit the table. I’m sure I had had 3 rums before food arrived and others had had either 2 or 3 pints.

For starters I’d ordered the soft shell crab: Wild catch blue swimmer soft shell crab, in chilli & garlic tempura batter served with homemade ginger, prune, and mango & fig marmalade. It was pretty amazing, the whole thing was also covered in chopped chilli’s which gave the whole dish a real kick! It really was excellent, the soft juicy crab and the crisp tempura batter worked really well and the chilli’s really set the whole thing off.

I asked around the table and it was a general thumbs up all round. I didn’t really have ask as there were plenty of near orgasmic moans and “Oh man, this is really good” half mumbled comments through full mouths of food to guess that everyone was in fact enjoying what had been laid before them.

After the starters even more drinks were ordered and then we waited…. And we waited… and we waited….

Eventually the main course arrived but, not all together. The main issue here is that there was no organisation, the waiter had a trolley full of food but no idea who had ordered what. He spent much time shouting out the names of dishes in the hope that the person who had ordered the dish all of those hours ago was still able to recall what they had wanted in the first place.

I’d ordered Lamb Rogan, Mushroom Rice and a Keema Nan. My Lamb Rogan turned up first, then about 5mins later I heard “Mushroom rice” being shouted.

“MINE!” I raise my hand as if I’m back in school.

The problem that we now have is that the actual portions sizes are not great, I think had they have come 40 mins before just after we had finished our starters then maybe there would have been enough but we had been waiting far too long and everyone was really hungry and what was now being put down in front of us really wasn’t enough to satisfy the most basic primal hunger needs that had so steady arisen over the long period of time between courses.

I dish up the rice and Rogan and tuck in thinking my Keema Nan can’t be too far behind. All of us who had ordered a kemma nan were thinking this, all but one of us was so very, very wrong.

Mr’s Belly managed to procure herself a keema naan (I wish I had agreed to share Nan’s now rather than flying solo). I was then served a keema nan (or at least that’s what they told me it was), which turned out to just be a nan, no keema, no way, no how just a nan then.

 The remaining keema nans actually turned up when everyone had finished their meal despite cancelling the order about halfway through the main course.

Obviously complaints were raised to the management about the service, the randomness of the serving and some of the dishes had been served cold. We were offered a free round of drinks but since we had been “lounging” now for 3 hours we refused the drinks, we just wanted to go, oh please let us go.

The manager came out and apologised for the bad service and that it had been:

A) The fact that there were so many of us (it was then pointed out that the restaurant was only half full with us in it anyway) Damn it, PLAN B!

A Tandoori oven that had “gone down” which had caused the issue with late food arrivals (are you sure you little tinker I think you’re telling porkies).

C) They just hadn’t prepared for such a large party despite knowing that a large booking was coming in to dine (I suspect that this one was more in line with the truth).

A member of the group asked if they could discount the bill by 25% and asked if that was ok, the manager told him “we’ll decide that” (cheeky git, what he was really saying here was “I will be the one to determine just how much the crap service you were given is worth”). When the bill arrived they had taken off 10% (so a 40minute wait between each course is worth 10%, 50 minutes is worth 15% and 1 hours is worth 20%) but a member of the group asked for a further 15% to be removed which after much toing and froing was agreed upon.

All in all the service was a bloody shambles, a real shambles. I don’t think I’ve ever seen such disorganised service before, it was like a train wreck but a really boring one that you didn’t want to look at as it took ages for the train to fall off the rails, slowly drag itself across the floor and then decide if it was going to explode of not. By the time it did most of the fuel had soaked in to the ground so the expected fireball was nothing more than a damp fart and a puff of smoke like a cheap firework on Bon-Fire night.

The food (which is the real shame of the whole tiresome affair) was bloody amazing! It was some of the best Indian food you could ever expect to have, the Rogan I had was rich and had just the right amount of zing to it. I tried my mates Garlic Chicken dish and that was beautiful. The chef they have is one talented bugger in the flavour department and that’s what makes the let-down of the serving staff that evening so disappointing.

An upsetting part of the evening though was the birthday boy feeling bad for bringing us all to the Lounge. Mate, it wasn’t your fault, no one knew what it would turn out like it did and you’re not to blame. Besides, I think you got over that feeling pretty quick by the way you were hammering down those whiskey shots in The Bear afterwards!

I think I’ll be inclined to try the Asia Lounge one more time but I think we’ll try going as a smaller group next time and see what happens with the service. I do recall going there when it had just opened and having a similar experience (there were only 4 of us that time) but the food is so good I’m really hoping on my 3rd visit (apparently it’s “the charm”, let’s bloody hope so) that they have sorted themselves out on the service side of things.

Oh, and make your portions bigger people.

I'm frickin' hungry!

The Bedford Belly on Tour: McDonners

McDoner's, 100 Carlton Street, Castleford WF10 1EE
 

I’ve been meaning to write this one up for a while but things have been quite busy these past few months that I never really got the chance.

There’s only one thing I’m going to be talking about here and it’s a kebab, this isn’t just any kebab this is the bastard king of ALL kebabs, it’s a frickin’ BEAST! So, what’s it called then?

This bad boy is known as: The Daddy Munch on Naan Kebab

What’s inside: Donner meat, char grilled chicken, 2 x seekh kebabs & diced lamb served on a tikka naan with salad & chilli sauce!

So, what’s the big deal?

This thing is a monster, I didn’t weigh it but you really do not expect the sheer weight of the thing. It really takes you by surprise when the delivery driver hands it over, you know that feeling where you’re handed something and you misjudge just how heavy it is? Well, it was one of those moment. It was like being passed over a new born baby.

The naan is huge and then you have the meat (now those of you that know me are well aware that I am a self-proclaimed meat activist. I encourage the consumption of meat and think those that do not eat meat should not be allowed any sort of meat substitute, there should be no fake sausages, chicken or bacon. They are ours, you don’t eat meat you leave it alone… I don’t eat fake vegetables now do I? I eat all vegetables And MEAT), man the meat, there’s loads of it! Loads of donner meat, stacks of chicken. You can see why this thing is so heavy and then with the huge salad on top of that and the lashings of chili sauce. I’m not kidding you this is a thing of beauty, but looks aren’t everything.

Taste: Everything here tastes great! The donner meat isn’t too greasy, the chicken has that charred edge to it and the lamb is tender and not at all fatty (which I expected it to be). The seekh kebabs melt in your mouth and the naan is a triumph A TRIUMPH I SAY! All that for £8.00. Frickin’ bargain, especially if you’ve just come back from a good old traditional British night of binge drinking. I do have to say though I struggled with this, I’m not sure if it was lunch that got in the way or something else but I am determined to finish it the next time this bad boy lands on my platter.

I’ve been told these guys do another meaty morsel called: The Tiger Kebab on Naan, it’s chicken tikka, BBQ chicken, donner meat, seekh & beef on a plain naan. It’s been recommended by the same friend who put me on the trail of the Daddy Munch so I know my sauce is good (yeah, I misspelt source on purpose, gotta have a food pun). It’s a dilemma though, I would quite like to try The Tiger but then I wouldn’t be eating the Daddy Munch.

What’s a man to do?

Close Your Pie Lids

The Five Bells, 101 High Street, Henlow, Beds, SG16 6AE 01462 811125
 

Another Sunday but this time there is a hint of freedom in the air. Baby Belly is taking a bottle these days and this allows for periods of absence. Not that we don’t love her of course but as any parent will know, sometimes you just need a little breather, oh and I also don’t mean we throw few bottles in her cot and go out for the day either. She is very much under the supervision of an adult. Yes, Today Baby Belly gets to spend some time with Grandma & Granddad while we GET TO GO TO THE PUB!

Ok, it’s A pub and we’re not there to “booze out” just have a meal with some friends. The Five Bells is located in Henlow, a nice setting between Baldock & Bedford (a little past Hitchin and to the left). We arrive and head inside where some of our friends are waiting, we’re still waiting for a couple more, in total (including children… but not ours HA!) there will be 12 of us. So that’s a [pretty good taking right there for any pub or restaurant.

About 10mins after our official booking time we’re still waiting for the last of our friends to arrive, the (I think manager) comes over and starts getting a little huffy:

“Is everyone here then?”
“Not yet no”
“Well, I’ve got this tabled booked out at 3pm”

What I would have liked to have said was: “Oh, well in that case all 12 of us will just piss off and spend our money somewhere else then”

What was actually said was: “Oh, they’re just pulling up now”

This seemed to appease the sweaty pub beast and he grumbled off to, I presume get shirty with someone else (throughout our visit I saw him a few times waddling at speed around the pub getting grumpy with various members of staff).

So grumpy pub beast aside let’s get down to the eats.

I’m a greedy git so I did have a starter. My friend and I both wanted the haggis starter but they only had one left so he ordered that and I ordered the Japanese prawns which we shared. I’ve never had haggis before and was informed it was a bit like a spicy white pudding which sounded great to me. What we got though was more like deep fried stuffing balls, it tasted fine but it wasn’t at all what I was expecting to come. The Japanese prawns were pretty darn good too and came with a sweet chilli sauce, both came with fresh side salads. Portions were reasonable, not too big nor too small.

For mains most people went for the roast but the special board caught my eye with beef & Guinness pie. I love beef, I love Guinness and let’s be fair who in their right mind doesn’t love a pie? Who? Well, I do at least but what came, to me anyway wasn’t what I would call a pie.

A pie to me is filling wrapped head to toe in pastry, cooked in some kind of pie dish (yes obvious). Now what came can (and is) technically “a pie”, it was filling served in a dish with a pastry lid. To me, that IS NOT a pie, that is stew with a bit of pastry. How can this be possible? You wouldn’t get away with this when it comes to any other type of food. I can’t just spread some jam on a plate, throw a bit of bread on it and call it a sandwich. I can’t serve up a mince beef & tomato dish, pop a tortilla wrap on top and call it a burrito so why should anyone be allowed to call this a pie when clearly IT IS NOT A PIE!

Anyway, beside it not really being a pie it was good. The beef was tender, the sauce was finger licking goo (so sue me KFC) and the pastry LID (not pie casing) was flaky and tasted great.

As far as I am aware there were no complaints about the food, I know some were beaten by the portions but I wouldn’t have said they were too large. These people were obviously not hungry enough in my opinion, they need to sort themselves out and get hungry in future.

If you’re looking for some good food and don’t mind pies not actually being pies then by all means head on down to the Five Bells in Henlow, I don’t think you’ll be disappointed. If you want service with a smile then you might want to take a cut out of a smile with you that you can super glue to the sweaty pub beasts face (I would like to add that the serving staff were in fact very good and efficient and the girls at eth bar were friendly and cautious too).

Just in case you were wondering (and I wouldn’t want you to go away disappointed that I didn’t answer that one burning question you’ve had running around in that brain of yours) we did manage to eat and get out before the 3pm booking had even arrived!