Bedford Belly: Pissed!

AL-Badar, 66 Midland Road, Town Centre, Bedford MK40 1QB



 It had been a glorious weekend, the sun had been shining, the birds had been singing and I had been drinking!

Trying not to give too much of my identity away (yes there are those who follow this that do know who I am) I was in Luton doing musical things and since it was a 6pm kick out time on Sunday we decided to... make the most of the weather and head to a couple of beer gardens, we had been drinking cans most of the afternoon anyway so why not just carry on?

We hit the first pub and within the hour had already consumed 3 pints… not the best idea we’ve ever had but it didn’t hinder us too much. We moved on to a pub further within Luton town centre and found ourselves a place. Looking round I suddenly felt a bit old, we were all at least 16years older than everyone else in the garden (where has the bloody time gone?). It was a bit pricey here so we made a united decision ”let’s not waste the money we have left on pub pints, let’s be wise with the cash and spend it on more cans. We can head back to yours…” (Fingers point towards the friend who still lives in the town) “… and put on some tunes”.

And that’s exactly what we did, for the next 3-4 hours we ploughed through the beer, listened to some sweet tunes (When I say tunes I mean real music, you know the kind with instruments and verses etc. not THUD THUD THUD BLEEP WOBBLE BLEEP WOBBLE *a sample of a woman shrieking some inane nonsense* THUMP THUMP THUMP).

Time rolled on and there were only two trains left so myself and another mate (Who was to stay at my gaff) headed off zigzagging our way down streets and alleyways until we were greeted by the rather good looking outer shell of Luton station (the inside is still a frickin’ dump but the outside is all Total Recall/Logan’s Run futuristic).

A quick train jaunt later and we were back in Bedford…. Now, the alcohol had really taken control and it was screaming, screaming oh so loudly “GET A KEBAB I’M HUNGRY!”. Well, who am I to ignore such pleas?

So after passing many an unsavoury character we found ourselves in Al-Badar on Midland road, in all honesty it’s a bit of a dive but it was that or Fried Chicken. Normally Alcohol has a dominating effect on the body and just tends to crave Kebabs. Perhaps it’s some kind of Grecian witchcraft but it’s true, you’ll never fully satisfy a drunken hunger until you have presented it with an offering of minced lamb in a bready envelope.

I went for the mixed doner with salad and chilli sauce. Now what I got was a mixed doner with salad & chilli sauce but it came in Naan bread. It’s not the first time I’ve had this and it in no way offends my drunken palate but I was initially a tad disappointed (perhaps this is the reason I’ve been craving pitta bread this week?) but it served its purpose well, tasted good and allowed me to roll it over the rest of the filling as we chowed down on our fodder during the additional walk back to my house, then we had to return to the kebab shop as the friend I was with had left his bag there, the bag he said he didn’t want to lose and then actually asked “Did I bring a bag?” when I told him he’d left it behind (thankfully it was still there).

The kebab meat was a mixed affair to be fair, it wasn’t caked in as much fat as you’d normally expect and some bits were really juicy but then you’d come across a handful of really dry bits which are edible enough (and they did get eaten) but you can’t help feel that there’s a good chance they’ve been kicking round the kitchen for a couple of days.

In complete contrast the chicken was actually excellent It was very VERY juicy and had been spiced perfectly, it wasn’t too hot but there was enough of a kick in it and it worked really well with the cooling salad. The chill sauce was pretty standard to be frank, there was nothing amazing about it, and it did the job but could have been better.

Funnily enough, earlier in the day as we had been walking in to Luton town we were discussing chilli sauce (yeah, we have some very deep and philosophical conversations sometimes) and as we did we walked past “Dial-A-Kebab” who I had to point out made the best chilli sauce in Luton (IMHO). It was pointed out that they had been on Panorama at some point as they were apparently a front for an Al-Qaeda cell! So there you go, the secret to their chilli sauce was obviously anthrax.... YUM

By the time we’d got back to mine all evidence had been consumed and no one was any the wiser…

In conclusion Al-Bader (although a bit grotty inside) isn’t the worst kebab house but it’s not the best either. It was the only kebab house open on a Sunday night down Midland road and if you have to head home that way then it’s fine but if you do want a Kebab and can be bothered then I’d just head up to Andrea’s in Tavistock Street since they do the best Kebab’s in the town, ok everything else Andrea’s sell is crap but you cannot in any way knock their mad kebab skills!

Talking Italian

Santaniello 9-11 Newnham Street, Bedford MK40 3JR

Ah the weekend, those 2 days at the end of each week (the name gives it away!) that we all look forward to. A couple of days where we can forget the stresses of work, relax, go on trips or just concentrate on the stresses of home life instead!

Yes, Saturday was here and I was up early(ish) as I had a job to do, a job I had been putting off for some time as I’d never done it before and wasn’t looking forward to doing it either… WALLPAPERING!

As it turns out, apart from the nightmare of trimming the bastard stuff once it’s on the wall the actual job itself was quite frankly a piece of piss! Sadly this now means that Mrs Belly knows I can wallpaper and therefore (I’m sure) will be already planning my next wallpapering project as I type.

Anyway, wallpapering out of the way and a lack of desire to cook anything I thought “Let’s get a pizza”. As you know by now the whole reason I started this thing was to name and shame those shitty Pizza joints that do the bog standard skanky pizza’s that have sadly become the norm in this country. Places such as Bella Italia in Kempston, Andrea’s in Bedford Town Centre etc.

Santaniello is a classic Italian Pizzeria run by an Italian family making classic Italian Pizza’s, this is how Pizza should be! There are only a handful of Places in Beds that serve proper Pizza and it’s such a nice change from the usual muck!

Proper Italian base, proper tomato sauce and mozzarella cheese, none of your dirty cheddar mix here!

I had myself a salami & chilli Calzone while Mrs Belly had herself an onion & mushroom pizza and we also ordered a mixed salad between us. Both Pizza & Calzone were a good size (there’s just one size here approx. 12”), cooked perfectly and also fast. I placed the order on the phone and they asked how long I would be, I asked how long they would like me to be and they told me 5 minutes.

We were just round the corner and got there pretty much 5 minutes later; they were literally just taking our order out of the oven!

Both of them were delicious and the drive home didn’t affect the food in any way, the dough was crisp, the cheese was stringy and the food was still hot! The salad came in an Italian dressing which was pretty damn good too.

In all honesty there’s not a whole load to say when food is good, if it’s bad then there’s plenty to say but when food is good all that really comes to mind are three things:

1) Yum
2) Mmmm nyom nyom
3) We are definitely going back there!

The menu is nice and simple; you won’t find chicken or pineapple on the Pizza’s here because they’re not things real Italians put on pizzas. Salami, Ham, Mushrooms, Onions, Olives, Peppers, Chilli’s, Artichokes, Anchovies, these are the kind of toppings you’ll find. Simple, flavoursome ingredients; that’s how Italian is and to be honest it’s all the better for it!

The only downside is that they don’t deliver but the only time that’s really an issue is if either:

A) Everyone’s drunk and you live out of Bedford Town Centre

You live outside of Bedford Town Centre but don’t own a car

If you want to taste a real Italian pizza then I suggest you stop calling up all the fakers, get off your ass and head to Santaniello. Find out what real pizza tastes like then give your skanky 10 a penny take away all kinds of shit until we’ve forced them all to start selling quality pizzas the way they are meant to be!

A Lib-Dem Dinner: Neither good or bad but somewhere inbetween

Beijing Chinese, 88 Ampthill Road, Bedford, MK42 9JA

It’s been a weekend filled with travelling so after a long drive back from Yorkshire I really couldn’t be arsed to cook a thing, I wasn’t that hungry to begin with but then I started hankering for some sweet & sour chicken balls (please don’t think I make it a habit to hanker after balls but if you’re silly enough to deep fry them in batter and... I’m around there is a good chance they’ll be nothing left of them by the time I've left).

I’d not tried the Beijing Chinese before so I thought I’d give it a whirl.

To be honest when you walk in you’re greeted with a rather tatty little room, paint cracked & peeling a bit, those stupid wallpaper mid boarders peeling too and big Chinese fan on one wall and a few wooden chair set up against the window.

I hit the counter & peruse the menu, since I’ve never been here before I just opt for my usual. Sweet & Sour chicken balls – check, Pancake roll – check, Mushroom fried rice…. Erm, I can’t see it on the menu… erm… then the kid behind the counter looks a bit confused and he too checks down the menu.
Kid – “Erm... nope, we erm… don’t do mushroom rice”
Me – “You do Mushrooms though right?”
Kid – “Yeah.”
Me – “And plain rice?”
Kid – “Yeah.”
Me – “You can see where I’m going with this?”
Kid – *blank gaze*
Me – “Can you just do normal rice and put some mushrooms in it?”
Kid – *Looks at menu again* “We don’t do mushroom rice.”
Me –“O…K… I’ll just miss the rice then.”

So I sit and wait alone in tatty room, after 10 minutes of silence the kid tries to start a conversation.
Kid – “So… you watch football?”
Me – “No, sorry mate.”
Kid – “Any sport?”
Me - *Patting my plentiful belly* “Sorry mate, I’m not really the sporting type... more of a gamer.”
Kid – “Ah, yeah... you look like a gamer.”

So kids, watch out if you play video games, you’ll end up fat and hairy just like your Uncle Belly here!

 One rather awkward conversation about video games later I was relieved to have my food thrust upon me so that I could get the hell out of there!

I get home and dish up the grub; first thing I notice is just how greasy the batter is on the chicken balls, apart from that though everything else seems fine. The pancake roll is a MONSTER! The sweet & sour sauce is thick and tasty (but that’s what you get from something so packed with MSG that if you took it on holiday there would be no room in the case for anything else, it’s also a little too red for my likening but now I’m just being bloody picky).

The chicken is cooked pretty well and retains an element of juiciness & although the batter is greasy it still tastes good and doesn’t leave too much of a grease film in my mouth, the pancake roll is also very nice but I would have liked more shrimps in it and a little less pork (but to each their own).

OK, so I only tried two minor dishes but to be fair they were pretty good, not the best I’ve ever had but by no means the worst (that award goes to a skanky little place in Kempston next door to Blue Ginger… blurggghhh).

Mrs Belly and another friend made a comment about Chinese food the other day which now that I think about it is pretty spot on. Both have said that while they don’t dislike Chinese food it’s not something they would be fussed about eating as “You never finish a Chinese meal and think ‘WOW! That was amazing!”

They’re right though, Chinese food is good but unlike Indian or Italian food it‘s never fantastic it’s always just nice. In the case of the Being Chinese this is just below nice in the “Yeah, it wasn’t too bad” category.

In my opinion for the price you’d be better off going to one of the “All you can eat” Chinese buffets, the quality is about the same but at least at the buffet you get more variety for the price.

The Bedford Belly On Tour: Abduls

Abduls, Southgate, Pontefract, WF8 1LN

 Ah, the weekend. Those glorious days where you can use alcohol to forget about the week you’ve left behind and start worrying about the week yet to come!

At the weekend Mrs Belly and myself headed up North to her hometown to visit the in laws. While we were there we spent an evening with some good friends and as usual the alcohol flowed, obviously the pregnant (and my personal designated driver) Mrs Belly had to settle for Shhlurr (I don’t know how you spell it) and soft drinks.

We stuck in a movie (the painfully funny “Bruno”) and then set about ordering some munch. The friends we visited keep a folder full of take away menus (very handy), we plough through the folder but always know that despite going through the motions of the ritual rummage we’re going to order from Abduls.

This time I thought I’d forgo my usual Lamb Rogan and try the Lamb jalfrezi instead (I proper dig Lamb!); I stuck to my Onion Bhaji, Keema Naan & Mushroom rice though.

Every dish I’ve ever had from here has been really tasty. The rice is always good, the Naan could be better but naan’s always lose their heat pretty quick and tend to get soggified by the steam when encased in their little foil baggies. The onion bhaji’s are what you’d expect form a good onion Bhaji and the mint yogurt dip you get with them is phenomenal!

One thing I do like here is the wee slice of orange you get on the side salad, I don’t know what it is about fruit in salad but I really dig it!

The jalfrezi was really nicely spiced, I’ve been to quite a few Indians and sometimes the jalfrezi can be a bit over powering. Now I’m not a softie in anyway when it comes to spicy food, in my heyday I’d enjoy a nice Phaal and recently I’ve found the sweaty eye browed joys of Ghost Chilli sauces (in fact I’ve just ordered myself some ghost chilli extract weighing in at 6.4 million on the Scoville scale) but I do like to get the full taste of the spices in Indian food rather than just meat texture and BURN! This jalfrezi found a good balance of both and was also really rich and creamy, anyway there’s always the bullet chilli to wallop down once the main dish is done with.

The place is price like most other Indians, approx £5 - £6 for a main dish and everything else is priced as you would normally expect. The down side is that as far as I am aware they don’t deliver (so always take a non-drinker with you to go pick it up…. *cough*pregnant Mrs Belly *cough*

The only other complaint I would have is the printed menu, looking through it I couldn’t see Keema Naan on there at all but ask them on the phone if they do it and you get a kind of “Of course we do” answer… well, if you do it… PUT IT ON THE MENU FOR GODS SAKE!

You can’t just assume you sell stuff because it’s not on the menu, in which case I’ll have a Panda Rogan Josh please… what do you mean you don’t sell Panda curries? It’s not on the menu so surely by the logic you’ve defined you MUST sell Panda curry… I DEMAND PANDA CURRY!

Panda curry aside if you’re in the area and have a hankering for some good Indian food then you really can’t go wrong with Abdul’s in my opinion.

Tray-tor To The Cause

Bella Italia 28-30 High Street, Kempston, Bedford, MK42 7AR

Last Saturday the usual gang got together round a friend’s house for a few drinks and a catch up, since we all had a Christening to go to the next day it wasn’t what you’d call a heavy night at all.

As the night went on mouths started patting and stomachs started growling, the ballot was open, the votes were counted and the general consensus was “Tray Pizza’s from Bella Italia”. We’ve had these many times before and they’re normally great (they were better before the place got taken over a couple of years ago), a massive pizza approx. 48”L x 24”W. A good way to feed a lot of people cheaply.

We ordered two of the beasts and it cost us about £5.50 each (there were seven of us in total), not a bad price all things considered:

1 x Pepperoni, salami & Jalapeno peppers

1 x Chicken, Sweet corn & garlic

Phone order – done they 40mins later there’s the knock on the door… pizza is snatched, money is thrown at the delivery lad, pizza is hurried in to the kitchen and within seconds we’re piling in! Slices fly this way, plates fly that way, salt, pepper, chomp chomp chomp… ewww…

It’s shite!

Greasy crisp layer on the base of the dough, the rest of the dough is a spongy mess, thick tomato, piss all cheese, barely any pepperoni and the “Jalapenos” were the shitty pickled ones you normally get with a kebab. It tasted a bit like a mega budget pizza you’d pick up from Iceland (yeah, that place where apparently all mum’s go and then come back with “lips & aresholes” (or chicken nuggets & economy burgers to you and I).

After a couple of slices one friend went off to throw up, myself and another friend ploughed through a few slices (salt may be bad for the heart but when it’s helping to hide the taste of a shitty meal then all I can say is BRING ON THE CARDIAC ARREST!).

I have no idea what has happened here, perhaps there’s a shite chef in tonight or perhaps the mighty truly have fallen, I don’t know. They used to do proper, glorious, tasty Italian tray pizzas but now… not so much. You might as well have just brought in a small crying child and served his tears in a box it was that sad.

Bella Italia… SHAME ON YOU!!!

It’s the old problem again, what used to be solely an Italian food joint changed, now it’s a chippy, kebab house, chicken shack and pizzeria. This is where it all goes wrong, just concentrate on one area and then do it well. The people will thank you for it, if the belly’s happy then the face is happy and if they’re both happy then wallets and purses across the town will be more than happy to open up for you.

The Bedford Belly On Tour: Garufa's

Garufa’s, 104 Highbury Park, London N5 2XE

Last Friday I was down in Highbury, part of my job involves onsite customer visits and I was working a lovely couple in their home, this job took most of the day but since my train ticket was off peak only I had some time to kill after the job had been completed so decided I’d go get a bite to eat and have a couple of beers bef...ore making my way back to sunny Bedford.

I asked the couple if there was anywhere they could recommend and they pointed me in the way of Garufa’s which was literally round the corner from their home.

Garufa’s is an Argentinian restraint and is very tastefully decorated, bare brick walls, classic black & white pictures of old Argentina, nice cosy lighting and (at the time) a very pleasant & peaceful atmosphere (although that may have been more to do with the fact that I was the only one in there at the time).

I’m looking at their menu online right now to see what I’d ordered but sadly the starter must have been new to the menu as it has yet to reach the online menu, anyway...

Starter:
Sweet Breads
I ordered this without knowing what it actually was and I have been told that it was testicles (it wasn’t but even if it had been I really wouldn’t have cared), it was in fact the thymus form the throat of a pig. Man! It was AMAZING!!! I cannot stress how frickin’ good it was, I’ve never tasted anything like it in my life.

The sweetbreads were cooked with lemongrass, garlic and olive oil. The taste is very hard to describe, there was the taste of pork but then there was a sweetness (I guess that’s how it gets its name, mind you “sweetbread” is more appealing than “Bits of pig throat”) to it but not a sickly sweetness. As I said hard to describe but if you ever see it on a menu I would just go for it (I’m actually drooling a little just thinking about them).

Main:

The reason I had come here was that my customer had said the steak was out of this world so the obvious choice for mains was steak. A really plump, juicy rib-eye cooked medium, it came with a side salad and I also ordered the “Papas fritas a la provenzal” (Chips with parsley & garlic to you and I chum!).

The steak was indeed “out of this world”, I have never had a steak as good as this before and I have eaten my fair share of cow over the years so I know where I’m coming from here.
Cooked to perfection, juicy but not greasy and so full of flavour, I also ordered a red pepper sauce to go with the steak which I thought was pretty damn good too!

The side salad was small but again, packed with flavour and came with a garlic oil dressing on the side.

Now on to the “Papas fritas a la provenzal”, these were chips but not like you’ve ever had before. Each “chip” was about the size and thickness of a fish finger, you got a good bowlful (just the right amount). They were incredible, really REALLY crispy on the outside and the fluffiest potato I have ever had in my life on the inside. They came drizzled in a parsley & garlic olive oil that also gave off the faintest hint of lemon. Simply wonderful indeed.

 The service staff were excellent and friendly and I was obviously spoilt since I was the only person in there. Please though, do not take my solitude as any kind of indication that this place is at all failing in the quality department (I was in there between 5:45pm – 6:45pm). In fact most tables around me had reserved signs on and about 10 minutes before I was due to leave the place started to fill up.

All in all this was the start of a pretty perfect evening, belly full (and slightly tipsy) I waddled down to the tube station and got myself a ticket to St Pancras, the tube was waiting as I reached the platform (bonus!). One stop later and I was at St Pancras, I wondered on down to the next platform and within seconds of reaching the edge the train rolled up, got on board and it was virtually empty, plenty of nice plush seats with tables.

I grabbed myself a chair and settled in for my journey back to Bedford… I’d only got on the bloody SUPER FAST TRAIN (WOOOO HOOOOO). So, I rocketed back to Bedford, taxied back to Belly Manor, greeted Mrs Belly with a kiss and a cuddle then kicked back on the sofa and flicked on the tube…

Friday night at its best!